I used to think that I didn’t care about what people thought of me. A recent experience has taught me how much I really DO care about what others think. That really bothers me and I wish I could brush things off easily. It was brought to my attention that there are people who read my post “I hate being pregnant” and were offended by it which caused them to say some very unkind and hurtful things. This has been on my mind non-stop and made me realize that the things I’ve written on my blog about my pregnancy so far have all been negative.
Without going on and on and on about the terrible things I thought about these people, I thought that maybe I should share some positive things that I’ve been experiencing throughout my pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate being pregnant and the changes happening to my body haha. But I actually LOVE that I’m going to be a mother. Those are 2 different things!
This is what I love about being an expectant mother:
1) Feeling her move. What a strange yet incredible feeling! All women who have been pregnant will know exactly what I’m talking about. My husband asked me what it feels like when the baby moves and I couldn’t explain it to him. The closest thing I could think of was that it kind feels like gas bubbles popping in your belly haha. But that’s only how it feels at the very beginning. As she continues to grow her movements become a lot more noticeable and there are no words to describe exactly what it feels like. When I feel her move (which is becoming more frequent these days) it brings me comfort to know that she is surviving in there and growing.
2) When my husband reads to her. We’ve made a habit of reading to our baby girl every night now. Bryton has been reading Harry Potter for the last couple of weeks and every night my heart is full. She loves the sound of her dad’s voice and moves in response to it. Sometimes I can feel her moving closer towards his voice and I think it’s the sweetest thing.
3) Foot massages. At the end of everyday my feet are so uncomfortable and sore, and every night before we go to sleep my husband will massage them no matter how late it is or how tired he may be. I am the luckiest!
4) Cuddles. On Sunday Bryton and I really really felt like cuddling a baby. We couldn’t exactly steal any of the babies at church so we decided to drive out to South Auckland to steal cuddles from our cute niece, Irisa. We are SO excited for our baby girl to come so we can have non-stop cuddles with her whenever we please!!
5) Organizing things. I’ve always been so keen on organizing things and lately I’ve been thinking about all the ways we can set up our room. We are limited with space, but I cannot wait to have baby girls things all set up before she arrives! Is it sad that I want to spend my entire Christmas holidays doing that?
6) Dress ups. You all know how much I love to dress up as it is. Since we found out we were having a baby girl we’ve bought a few clothes for her and can I just say how in love I am with all baby girl clothes!??! I just hope she can fit into the clothes we’ve bought for her! There are some super cute dresses and tunics and tights and skirts and shorts and shoes and slippers and pyjamas out there for baby girls. I am just dying to dress her up as soon as she gets here!!
7) Seeing my family get excited. This is the first grandchild and great-grandchild for my family. On the weekend we visited with them and my Dad kept buzzing out over my growing belly. Every time we see my little brothers they keep asking “where’s your baby? I thought you were going to the doctor to get your baby?” Haha it’s the cutest thing. I cannot wait to see how my family are with our baby girl. My brothers are going to love her so much!! And I can’t wait to call my mum “Nana” hahaha. She’s gonna hate it!
8) Getting to see Bryton excited. Ever since he was a little boy he has always wanted to be a dad. Isn’t that kinda strange for guys to be like that? Haha. But his mum and sister have told me several times that Bryton has always wanted kids and I’ve seen him with his nieces and my brothers and I can tell he’ll be a good father. But now we are experiencing our first child together and it’s such a great feeling to see how excited Bryton is. When he reads to her you can hear the excitement in his voice. When he feels her move you can see the excitement in his eyes.
9) Feeling how much I love her already. Do I even need to explain this? After all the pain and sickness and discomfort she puts me through, my little heart has so much love for this child. I don’t know how I’m going to cope when she gets here! All I know is that my love for her is going to keep growing and right now I’m not even sure how that’s possible!
10) Knowing that she chose me. When I got pregnant it was pretty unexpected. We were planning on having children but not so soon. So when I found out it took me a while to get used to the fact that I was having a baby. But I know, without a doubt, that it is all part of a greater plan for us. That this is meant to happen and it is the right time for us to start our little family. I don’t know how everything works up above, but if this child sat up there, pointing down, saying “I want her to be my mum” she and our Heavenly Father, must know the potential I have of being a mother in Zion. You know that sinking feeling you get when you are the last person to be chosen for a team in a school sport or game? I’m all too used to that. But knowing that there are spirits up above, waiting to come down to earth, wanting to be a part of our family, warms my cold heart. I can’t wait for the things I’m about to learn from them. I know that this stage in my life isn’t just to raise children, but to raise myself to a higher level of being.