I hate being pregnant

I believe this was me at 15 weeks? Sacramento Temple. September 2015.

Doesn’t that just sound like a swear word? “I hate being pregnant”? It’s like you’re not supposed to say it because the baby might hear you and have issues when they come. Well I don’t even care, and I will say what I want on my blog.

I’ve wanted to write so many posts about my pregnancy for the last few months. But because we hadn’t announced it yet I decided not to. Well today we finally decided to break our silence and now I can finally have a big public moan.

I hate being pregnant. And here’s why:

1) I never get sick. I will get the common cold maybe once a year and even then it’s pretty mild. The last time I threw up was over 10 years ago when I got heat stroke or whatever it’s called. I have vomited more times in the last 4 months than I have in my entire life. And that really sucks. In my first trimester I really struggled. I would wake up several times during the night because I was sick. I would wake up the next morning exhausted from not sleeping and I wouldn’t want to go to work. I would always feel nauseous but sometimes I wouldn’t be able to throw up. I could barely eat a thing because everything would make me sick.

2) I am ALWAYS exhausted. Ugh. I would be at work where I sit on my butt all day, and I’d want to have a mid-day nap. Sometimes (and don’t tell my boss) my eyes would close and not open for 5 minutes and it was like I couldn’t control it. Being on our trip, if we have/had a full on day, the very next day I would be so tired and wouldn’t be able to function if I didn’t get enough rest.

3) I suck at netball. I’m not very good at netball anyway, but almost always I would make my shots. I could jump and catch the ball and take a shot and make it. When I played my first game of indoor netball when I was pregnant, my balance was way off, and my stepping would be all messed up. I couldn’t jump nearly as high and I missed every single shot. During my second game I walked off the court crying because I was so mad at myself.

4) Apparently I’m limited. Well no one’s ever told me that but that’s sure how I feel when people tell me they will do something for me because I shouldn’t do it because I’m pregnant.

5) Sleeping is uncomfortable. For the first 3 months it was just awful. Every position felt uncomfortable and it’s not even because my gut was too big. Some positions made me feel so sick and other positions were just uncomfortable.Β 

6) Smells ruin my life. In my first trimester I was superΒ sensitive to smells. I could smell everything really strongly and it all made me really sick. It also made me sad because I couldn’t stand the smell of Bryton. His natural body scent really made me sick and even if he used cologne it wouldn’t help. I remember driving home from work one day and I only thought about having to smell him when I picked him up, and I almost vomited in my mouth. Now I’m much better, but I felt so terrible for not being close to him.

7) I can’t eat what I want to eat! Ugh. This is one of the most frustrating things about being pregnant. The first thing my doctor gave me was a book about all the foods I can’t eat. Seafood, deli meats, deli salads, camembert cheese, mayonnaise, UGH. I am dying for a ham and coleslaw bun. We used to eat them a lot for picnics or a quick lunch or snack. But I didn’t realize how much I loved them until I couldn’t eat them. Once I took a bite of a ham and salad bun, knowing I shouldn’t eat it, and I got so sick afterwards. That taught me a lesson, so it’s not even worth eating it again. I still have mayo though because it doesn’t make me sick and so far so good haha. I also can’t eat Thai because last time I had it I felt sick. It’s really a bummer because that’s my favourite! Food selection is just so difficult these days. I don’t eat nearly as much as I used to before I got pregnant and I think that’s a problem. I eat maybe half of what I usually do and then I’m done. Before I got pregnant I was going to the gym to try and lose a bit of weight. I actually gained weight at the gym. I have lost more weight being pregnant and that doesn’t really sound normal to me haha. It also doesn’t make sense because I’m apparently losing weight but getting bigger. Would my body please sort itself out!

8) Shopping is so difficult! I can’t just buy something now because it’s only going to last me a couple of weeks and then I’ll be too big for it. And I’m so scared to start wearing maternity clothes!

9) I’m getting fat. Weight has always been such a big deal to me. And now my body is getting bigger and I have no control over it. Sometimes my bump is super tiny, but right after I eat it expands ten fold. And I look super fat 80% of the time. I really don’t like it and it’s not like it’s going to get any better any time soon. I’m so sad about that.

10) Stretch marks. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I started rubbing coconut oil pretty much all over my body because I didn’t want stretch marks. Well I got kinda lazy and stopped it for a while and now I’m paying for it because last week I found one stretch mark on either side of my belly and it really freaked me out. So now I’m oiling or moisturizing every single day!! I hope to avoid more!

Everyone tells me “it’ll all be worth it in the end.” I don’t believe you. Because when the baby comes, she’ll cry and want to be feed and then I have to change her nappy and then toilet train her. I’ll have to teach her and listen to her complain and put up with her tantrums and then she’ll have to live with me. I’m already looking forward to kicking her out of home when she turns 18. Hahaha I’m really kidding! I’m not THAT horrible. But anyone who knows me will know that I’m not the best with kids. It’s no secret that I don’t like kids and kids don’t like me. But I am hoping that with my own it will be different. I will really be working on changing my attitude about it. I don’t want my child to grow up thinking I don’t love her. Right now it’s just difficult for me because it happened unexpectedly and I don’t feel like I’ll be a good mum. I don’t feel ready for it and I am freaking out that I have to be responsible for another human being for the rest of my life!! It’s kinda a big deal.

Well I think that’s all the negativity out of the way. I really needed to vent because I’ve been holding that in for almost 5 months now and that’s not healthy haha. More positive and exciting posts will be added when I get more time. We have been crazy busy lately but watch this space!
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